My husband filed for divorce

[LAJar]

You're being very wise, LAJar. The truth is that, right now, your H is not going to act like the man you knew. He may steal, lie, be unreasonable and try to bully you. He may even do things that don't make sense at all. You can't control that but you can use your own brain, objective advice and a bit of detachment to make choices which make sense for you.

I'm really trying, Treasur. When I think about his choices and how he has flown into this relationship, it drives me into a big funk. And yes, this isn't the man I know/knew. It's amazing to think he said he was so unhappy with me and even miserable, you don't think any of that requires IC? The answer is to jump into an PA? Yes, I'm rational and know this makes no sense. It's just so difficult to see him throw our relationship away. I just got back from visiting my grandmother in the hospital and she doesn't know about us, so of course she was asking questions about H. He normally would have been there to visit and I think that's why I'm swinging back into sadness. I know this is my new reality, when I have memories of what used to be and that just [censored].
This doesn't change my plan to detach a bit and protect myself. A minor setback, I guess. I just hope I'm really dealing with the reality of it all. I feel like I might be pretending I'm feeling better and once things move forward, I break down.

From reading D stories here, it seems to go one of two routes. Either they file and then seem surprised by the reality of it and drag their feet. Or they jump in and run full-speed and get angry that you're not responding in they way you should according to the plan in their head.

My H is somewhat in between right now. He filed within 10 days of leaving and wants me to follow his plan, but he still hasn't served me. When we spoke about all of this, I asked him to table the divorce and give us a few months to work on things. He was firm in saying the D was happening. At the time, the PA was only a suspicion. His firmness, shutting down any reconciliation, the invalidation of our R, now all seem like he's doing it for her - what he tells her about our R and why he's in such a rush.
With that being said, I don't want this D, so I'm doing nothing to move it along. I will not file a response until I'm served. I still don't understand what's the hold up in serving me, but I don't understand much of what he's doing.