I did write her a letter yesterday that validated her feelings, and that I understand them now. Saw her after letter, and I could tell it impacted her mood (not sure in what way). I did say in letter that I committed to saving marriage,but not via coercing her, but by transformation of myself. I realize now, that I probably shouldn't have put that in there, or maybe even not sent the letter, at all. Neither of us have brought up the letter, and I never will unless she does. It was for her, not me.
Hi Joho, I suggest you not write any more letters. The more you profess your love and commitment to her......the more you are pushing her away. You cannot woo her back into the MR by pursuing her. Everything your emotions are telling you to do.........you should probably do the opposite. Why? B/c you have entered the twilight zone and the woman you see in your W's body.......is not the girl you married. Therefore, you will need to approach this situation as if she were a stranger......b/c in many ways, she is.
Everything you want to do toward your W, is seen as pressure by her. You said you were going to give her space. Sending letters, initiating text messages, calling her throughout the day, following her around the house, and just watching her.......is all pressure on her. Having relationship talks is pressure.
Get the DR book. Read the links on Cadet's post.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
