My husband filed for divorce

[LAJar]

Even before I had a chance to read your response, I registered for 3 coaching sessions, so I'm glad I did. It is nice to have confirmation from someone who has utilized the coaching.

I had my first consultation with a L. It was eye-opening. I didn't realize how expensive this can potentially be, for the L alone. I also had my suspicions confirmed in terms of what I'm entitled to, including alimony. I had no clue that was something I could possibly receive, simply due to the length of time we've been married. After this, it's insulting when I think about what he keeps offering.

I had asked about mediation options & this L said she probably wouldn't be able to represent me since we've already met. I guess it's a preference (?), but a completely neutral party would need to handle it. I have another phone consultation on Tuesday and this firm offers mediation as well. Frustrates me a bit because H says he'd like this to be amicable and in my mind that means through mediation. I believe he would like us to come to an agreement independantly and file papers using a paralegal. This seems ridiculous and not entirely smart if I agreed to it. What has he bothered to understand about the process? Not much I think. He's only gotten as far as filing, but has done nothing else. It's in my nature to research and be informed, he calls that controlling. I've stuggled with this because this should be an obvious 180 (not smart, but obvious), but I can't bring myself to act in this way. I'm not necessarily speaking of this particular instance, but scenarios involving $, which was our issue, how do you do something differently? H is impulsive and I'm more cautious and we usually never agreed on the right direction. He says I usually won because I was controlling.