And I truely believe that she didn't have an affair before she left. I think that when she left, she DID want to save the marriage. But once she decided not to, she wanted to explore.
Didn't you say that two weeks before moving out she let you know she did not want to save the M?
You may be right about her wanting to "explore". It's like when a W tells her H she needs to leave him to "find herself", which is complete b.s. What she is really telling him is that she wants to date and experience sleeping around.
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What hurt the most was the pics. She was like "Wow, so handsome!" That right there is what destroyed me in the moment.
FWIW, this is part of the stuff that she says to puff his ego and let him know she's interested and wants to connect. That doesn't prevent the pain for you. It is part of her new wayward lifestyle. Her rebellion is showing out in this way. Her behavior may become a lot worse. It is frightening to think about her having sex with a complete stranger! Sadly, it is not uncommon behavior for a WW. Until she is fed huge helpings of reality.......and she sees that reality being the result of her wayward decisions, there may be no slowing down for a while.
Unless having proof would help you legally........I would not look at this mess, b/c of the destruction it does to you. Drop the rope you have around her, and let her go. Go forward in making a life for you and the kids. Maybe some day she will get her act together and want to do the right thing.
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She did tell a friend she is not relationship material, 360 degrees of crazy, and had no intention of dating or getting in a relationship, but would not mind some 'hot sex' if she could get it.
Yep, backs up what I just said. This wayward woman is not the girl you married.
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I did see that she had sent pics of my messages to her to her friends. They were messages I sent about finding peace with the situation. She forwarded them to friends saying things like "I think we are starting to get to a place where we can coparent successfully."
Yet, she would get upset when I would talk to MY friends about our conversations. Feels like a betrayal.
There is a double standard for the M that has a WW.........at least, in her point of view.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
