So sorry you are struggling today, Cadence.

I wish I had some advice but all I can offer is my view from the outside.

Your H clearly has issues that don't have anything to do with you. He's dysfunctional and has proven it time and time again, don't allow yourself to forget that.

I struggle too with feeling discarded but I have to constantly remind myself that W has issues that have been there since before she even met me.

Cut yourself a little slack.