I got some Artisan by John Varvatos....makes the ladies melt like a slice of cheese
Right now I wear Invictus, and I like it, but I am definitely going to look for Artisan now.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Spray a little before you go out combined with a little manscaping and you are good to go!
Yeah, my old groomer broke. I went and got a new one.
Right now I am looking for nice underoos. My current ones are nice, but fairly basic.
I am at a point I don't mind dropping a little bit of $$ for some really nice ones.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
So a couple of things, that I have done today, that I think will help me detach.
So about 2 weeks ago, I fired up the laptop I had not used in months. I went to log into facebook. Well, it logged her in automatically. At that exact moment she was getting a video chat from some guy. Her messenger was open and I read some of it. I wished I hadn't. I have said nothing to her, but I did snap pics and email them, in case I needed them for legal proceedings for some reason. One was a pic he sent, a pic of her sexy drunk, and a pic of their convo. My jaw literally dropped seeing this. I deleted it. I also destroyed the laptop.
The day before my daughter's Bday, I found her Tinder account. I got some screen caps and emailed them to myself. I deleted it.
Her amazon account was hooked into my amazon app (I guess she did that at some point), so I know everything she has ordered since we split. I have unhooked the account.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Dayumm... $ucks to find out this way. Did you know she was having a A before this? This is bloody jarring. I particularly like that you destroyed the laptop - I would've done something exactly like that.
Yeh, keep this info in your backpocket. No need to let her know that you know all of this. Sorry man, but maybe this gives some explanation to the speed at which everything moved.
Dayumm... $ucks to find out this way. Did you know she was having a A before this? This is bloody jarring. I particularly like that you destroyed the laptop - I would've done something exactly like that.
Yeh, keep this info in your backpocket. No need to let her know that you know all of this. Sorry man, but maybe this gives some explanation to the speed at which everything moved.
No. And I truely believe that she didn't have an affair before she left. I think that when she left, she DID want to save the marriage. But once she decided not to, she wanted to explore.
From what I had gathered, this was a person she just met, probably through another app. Her messenger said they had just connected minutes before. From the conversation it looked like he was a traveler passing through the area. What hurt the most was the pics. She was like "Wow, so handsome!" That right there is what destroyed me in the moment. It appears they did not know anything about each other, and there were no other unknown names in her messenger list.
She did tell a friend she is not relationship material, 360 degrees of crazy, and had no intention of dating or getting in a relationship, but would not mind some 'hot sex' if she could get it. That really hurt too, thinking of another man putter his hands on her.
I did see that she had sent pics of my messages to her to her friends. They were messages I sent about finding peace with the situation. She forwarded them to friends saying things like "I think we are starting to get to a place where we can coparent successfully."
Yet, she would get upset when I would talk to MY friends about our conversations. Feels like a betrayal.
But, I had to let this go. We were not together, and she was not trying to save the relationship at the time. And since she filed, she is legally allowed to do whatever she wants.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
Hi. Did daycare charge your card? I thought she was supposed to charge each of our cards $200 each.
Thanks!
W
My response:
W, please reference These previous emails:
Email Title-Finances 8/24/2017
you owe $400, (I paid $200 on 8/4 and $200 on 8/18) Does daycare have your correct card information for payments, and are the dates she has still ok with your schedule? I have her taking $200 from me every two weeks in line with my paycheck. (This is what SHE sent to ME)
Email Title-Monies 8/3/2017 *only pay $200 to daycare on both 8/4 and 8/18, then pay $800 on 9/1 (Again, she was the one to send me these emails)
I also added this- I also confirmed with daycare previously that $400 would be charged to each of us on 9/1
Now see. I have my stuff together now, and have this filed and organized, so I KNEW it was coming out. Seems like she is slipping. But it feels good to know that SHE knows I am organized, and taking care of my obligations.
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
And I truely believe that she didn't have an affair before she left. I think that when she left, she DID want to save the marriage. But once she decided not to, she wanted to explore.
Didn't you say that two weeks before moving out she let you know she did not want to save the M?
You may be right about her wanting to "explore". It's like when a W tells her H she needs to leave him to "find herself", which is complete b.s. What she is really telling him is that she wants to date and experience sleeping around.
Quote:
What hurt the most was the pics. She was like "Wow, so handsome!" That right there is what destroyed me in the moment.
FWIW, this is part of the stuff that she says to puff his ego and let him know she's interested and wants to connect. That doesn't prevent the pain for you. It is part of her new wayward lifestyle. Her rebellion is showing out in this way. Her behavior may become a lot worse. It is frightening to think about her having sex with a complete stranger! Sadly, it is not uncommon behavior for a WW. Until she is fed huge helpings of reality.......and she sees that reality being the result of her wayward decisions, there may be no slowing down for a while.
Unless having proof would help you legally........I would not look at this mess, b/c of the destruction it does to you. Drop the rope you have around her, and let her go. Go forward in making a life for you and the kids. Maybe some day she will get her act together and want to do the right thing.
Quote:
She did tell a friend she is not relationship material, 360 degrees of crazy, and had no intention of dating or getting in a relationship, but would not mind some 'hot sex' if she could get it.
Yep, backs up what I just said. This wayward woman is not the girl you married.
Quote:
I did see that she had sent pics of my messages to her to her friends. They were messages I sent about finding peace with the situation. She forwarded them to friends saying things like "I think we are starting to get to a place where we can coparent successfully."
Yet, she would get upset when I would talk to MY friends about our conversations. Feels like a betrayal.
There is a double standard for the M that has a WW.........at least, in her point of view.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Sandi no it was two weeks after moving out that she said that in fact during the first week I tried to talk to her and told her that I felt that she wouldn't want to get back together because she would find a peaceful situation with her new apartment I would find a peaceful situation with my new apartment and she would never want to merge those two back together she started to cry said how dare you and if I really felt that way I would have filed for divorce straight off the bat well look where we ended up
Married 9: Together 11 M:37 W:35 S:2 D:7 Bomb dropped 6/3/2017 W moved out 7/1/2017 Separation Filed: 8/1/2017 Modified to Divorce: 8/21/2017 Divorced: 10/5/2017
