IMHO, your W is placing responsibility on some thing or some person to be in charge of making her happy. To seek medical help, get therapy, and involve herself in healthy activities/people would be taking responsibility for herself.........and she isn't doing it.

With the same token, she wants to find a target to put all the blame for her unhappiness and feeling dead. If her personal world was larger, she might have more things/people to blame. However, in this situation, you seem to be her target.

I don't discourage anyone from making self improvements. However, I can't honestly say your improvements will bring your W around. She has to turn lose of the resentment for past offenses, along with her disillusion ideas about M. She has to be responsible for her own happiness. Until then, you could be nearly perfect and it would not change her mindset.

I tell you this b/c I feel sorry for guys I see working so hard to change, thinking it will get back the W. Whether they admit it or not, I believe that's the real intent for their changes..at least, initially. So, go ahead and improve, but don't think that's going to change her.

Women tend to be very touchy about their H bringing up the subject of hormones. Especially if he has made references in past times to her periods or "being hormonal". Also, some women are touchy about the suggestion of getting close to menopause. Therefore, it places the man in a tough spot. She would probably accept it much better from another woman. Does she have family she'll listen to? Any close female friends?

Medical science has made such strides in helping women balance hormones, it's a pity for anyone to suffer what she may be experiencing. Becoming more educated is often the ticket that gets them on a healthier path.

The excessive amount of time she spends sleeping or staying in bed, is a valid concern. She may have no motivation to get up, has nothing to look forward to in the new day, and sleeping could be more comfortable than having the dead/numb feelings. Does anyone check on her every day?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!