Lost on how to save my marriage!

[sandi2]

This past Monday I got into her phone and found out she did in fact actually see him. On her FB messenger they were telling each other they love each other. After I found out, I was heated I told her to get her things and get out. After about 15 mins, I calmed down and told her I wasn't mad and we talked about it

If only you had stuck to the first 15 minutes, you would have had a better shot at getting her back. Your W is wayward, and there is no reasoning with her.

We had a bunch of talks, which was me approaching her about the relationship

Yes, the more you step toward her, the more you push her away. Step back. Waaaaaay back.

She has been cooking and cleaning the house

Is that unusual? How does she normally spend her day?

She also asking for my help now. Which she wasn't doing for a while.

Help with what? For you to help out at home?

She tells me I had a chance to close off old relationships. She using my old relationships as reference points.

Is she comparing the fact you had a chance for closure on previous R's, where she didn't get closure from OM? Were you ever in a inappropriate R since being M to your W?

I returned home she was sitting on the couch on the computer, like she was waiting, which she never does. She stayed up real late after that. I dont knownhow to interpret that whole situation.

What do you all think?

She's still contacting OM.

I see Txhubby has joined in, and has said practically the same as I have about the first 15 min. you learned she was in an inappropriate contact with OM.

I hope you will learn from him, and don't go the "in-house" separation.

Here's the thing, Joe. You definitely had areas you needed to improve. I can see how a W could hold resentment and keep unresolved issues for a long time. Although you probably played a big part in the problems in the M and with the kids..........when she decided to involve a third person in this MR, it took on a whole different way in how you should approach things, IMHO.