I need him to come by the house every day and be with the kids, as he gets out of work hours before I do and we don't want them to be home alone.
My suggestion would be to establish a boundary that as soon as you get home he leaves. Your goal should be to be around him as little as possible.
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Partly, I feel guilty because he was dying for love and affection during our marriage, so when he pursues me and wants to share love and affection with me, I feel like I should allow it.
That would have been OK if the two of you were working on the M. But you're not, so you've got to table that until if/when you do work on the M again.
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What I don't get now is the change in stance from being such a terrible wife to now being so good he "doesn't deserve" me. That killed me. I haven't responded to that text message yet, nor know how to even respond to it.
Nor should you respond to it. Have you read Sandi's rules?
These are great guidelines for how to behave with a WAS. Have a look at 32 in particular, "Do not believe any of what you hear and less than 50% of what you see." Your H is going to give you a LOT of conflicting statements in the coming months, you can kill yourself trying to figure out what it all means but the bottom line is it doesn't mean much of anything right now because your H is not the H you knew before. His mind isn't "normal" right now, he's confused about what he wants and he's trying to sort it out.
