I think you are right. I should of let her leave. I have been detaching and doing 180s.
What did you do specifically to snap your wife out of her fog?
And how did it take for your method to work?
I did everything wrong at first. She got busted by our neighbor cheating with her husband. The neighbor blew it all up but that didn't stop my wife. I immediately, like you, told her I could forgive her and we can work it out. Worst thing ever to tell someone who just betrayed you like that. They lose all respect for you. I played the pursue, pick me, crying, begging, miserable game for almost 3 years. I was a very pathetic beta male which is shameful because I was a U.S. Marine. Looking back now I'm disgusted at how I handled it. She would say the same kind of incredibly hurtful stuff your wife is saying. Basically cheating right in front of my face.
At about the 3 year mark I had had enough. It was killing me. I 180'd her HARD and FIRM. NO relenting. I started working out and doing all kinds of things I wanted to do for ME. I bought a motorcycle. I bought a bicycle. I got really active and basically ghosted her in our own house. NO more crying, NO more begging, NO pick me dance. I literally no longer gave a hoot what she did. She was a cheater. I was a strong confident successful loyal man. Why would I concern myself with the comings and goings of a cheater? I was always pleasant around the house but never engaged with her. She would engage with me and I'd talk to her as if I couldn't care less about what she had to say. I kept working out, got in the best shape of my life, got promoted at work, had a great life going without her input in any way. She actually started breaking down and crying all the time but still kept going online talking to her douche bag dudes. I decided I needed to move on and had her served with divorce papers. This was when it all changed. It had all mostly changed once I started getting myself together and doing maximum GAL and 180.
People want what they can't have. If you're a guarantee then she'll continue to treat you very cruel. If you start living a great life and don't need or want her anymore then she'll pursue you. Silly games I know, but that's life. One long series of silly people games.
