Similarly, my h has not seen our kids in a year, sent a text and check after Christmas, ignored birthdays and cut off college tuition for our youngest. There's more but I think you get the point. It truly surprises and baffles me. I would never have imagined him doing this.
So, Nope, I don't get it. A million theories are offered, but i tend to think that it'll get less likely they reconcile with the more time that passes.
So much wreckage that the "AWOL parent" will see too high a mountain to climb, and just give up. And my kids don't seem to want to reach out to him anytime soon. They are hurt.
I know I would never remove myself from them. But then, I have the problem of projecting my own values onto my h, and that has kept me stuck longer than anything else.
We all tend to do that for awhile. We assume we know how they must feel b/c WE would feel that way in the situation.
But we are not them and they are not us. I found a site that helps people who are not aiming at reconciliation. (Chump lady) It says something along the lines of "trust that they $uck". As harsh/funny as that sounds, the point is valid.
Keep your expectations very very low.
Again, sorry you are here. Your ex wife's loss is bigger than she can know, literally. Because she does not know, what she does not know.
I remind myself sometimes that it's not about what our WAS lose, it's about our own gain.
We are our children's rock. That matters maybe more than anything else we will do in life.
Jackie Kennedy once said that raising her children to be close to each other was her "Greatest achievement...without feeling good as a parent, nothing else I do could matter much."
Amen
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
