Wife says that she had enough, files for divorce

[SwHubby]

It's been status quo for a couple of days now. Spent time with D, running, going to the gym and bought a new car (W has my car at the moment and will keep it when divide of assets is complete). Been feeling well. Not much contact with W. She called me yesterday evening when I was at the gym. I told her I would call back afterwards. It was just regarding a minor change in our schedule for D4 so everything was fine.

However, I started this evening to read old texts between us from the months before BD, at BD and after. I am just stunned regarding how those texts started to change about 1,5 weeks before BD from W. Less emotions and more "business" as well as shorter and fewer. We went from planning our 10 year aniversary (since we got together) and our marriage aniversary (5years) to just complete shut down. I realize that I am not that sad after reading and analyzing. But that might come later this evening.

Mind reading is not good, but I am thinking that something must have happened suddenly that made W think that our R is unsolvable. But since the change was so rapidly and visably (afterwards), I just can't stop thinking that this can't be impossible. That feelings must still remain, beneath all that resentment.

I am being told in IC to give up hope and just go on with my life. However, that is not what I want. But still I must plan for a life alone and act as if. I have a hard time understanding how to drop the rope while still loving W and D.

It is still a rollercaster for me but it is gradually slowing down.