I think this is the problem. Whether or not it's on purpose, it sends the message that YOU are the one that gets to decide whats 'best for D'. Instead of taking care of incidental things, like haircuts, theres now a system in place where W has to ask you for money to do things and you become the arbiter of yes or no.
It's not on purpose. Like I said in a post above, the problem here I think is that I was (maybe am, thanks for the insight) still trying to co-parent. This idea that we can have a rational discussion about what's best for our daughter.
Quote:
This means that any time you say 'no', you put yourself as being the bad guy. There's no upside for you; youre either a jerk or a doormat.
NG in a nutshell, isn't it? Not only am I in that situation, I put myself there trying to do the "right" thing. I'm working on fixing that. You should see her response to my "no." It includes a "we'll see in court."
Quote:
If she 'lacks for something' at your ex's house, thats just not your problem anymore. If she lacks for a basic need at your W's house, then it's time to fight for more custody.
I'm still adjusting my thinking on that. My head agrees with the first part, but it still doesn't "feel" right. The second part I have difficulty considering. As it stands now, it's basically six days a month plus whatever holidays, etc. Trying to reduce that doesn't sit well with me at all.
