When Do MLC-LBS Officially Give Up?

[NDY]

Hi Forest. Good question.

I think 25 hit the nail on the head. It'll be an event. A thing they do where you finally realise you are done.

I accept that for some it may well just be the passage of time that they eventually realise it's over. Thats a slow burner and I feel sorry for those folks. It must be hard having your life on pause for so long. And lets be honest thats what we do. I know they advocate GAL here and thats good advice but if folks here were really honest with themselves GAL or not they are really just going through the motions. Not really living life.

My reasoning is simple. When my ExW gave me the ILYBINILWY speach was that the end? Nope. When she told me she was pregnant was that the end? Nope. When we had our final conversation and she lied about the conception of the OM's child was that the end? Yip. I knew at that point that this person I thought I knew so well was a habitual lier and was intent on burning every bridge as she ran away from her life that I deserved better than that.

However, I digress. My reason for posting is simple. Once you are done, you will begin to review your past relationship in a different light. When you first arrive here you are hell bent on saving your R. And thats honourable. But when there is no R to save things look different.

In new commers you are basically playing the 'Pick Me' dance. You dont deserve to be in that position, you really dont, but you dance anyway.

They also tell you to look at your R and realise what you did wrong for fear of it happening again. Sage advice but here's my problem.

The say believe nothing of what they say and 50% of what the do. Ok how does that sit with knowing what I did wrong in my M? It doesn't. It's a contradiction because if she was really that unhappy why didnt she discuss it? How can you live with someone that long being misrable and the LBS didnt notice? Because its all BS.

This doesn't stop the emotional roller coaster. Oh no. Just because you are done doesn't mean you stop feeling like cr@p. Doesn't mean you don't still have those imaginary conversations in your head where your STBX realises the pain and hurt they caused and are eternally sorry. You still do that, for a very long time.

What does happen though is you start to see AND call out their cr@p. You may be responsible in part for the problems in the marriage but they are 100% responsible for the affair. Cowards. Nothing more nothing less.

Then you arrive at Meh. Then you are done.

Peace