I am very sorry for your loss. Any expectations of them treating you as you would them is just going to set you up for hurt and disappointment.
Do not tell her your plans anymore. She surely isn't going to tell you yours. Why would she? In her mind, she is separated from you and she is under no obligation to tell you.
The hardest thing to accept right now, and there is no other way to do this, but you need to accept she is not your wife right now. She fired you from husband role which means she isn't your wife. Legally yes, emotionally no. And that's the way you need to live right now to save yourself from hurt and disappointment from having expectations of this woman treating you like a husband.
