WAW, is there hope?

[KGuy]

Posting via generator, so i'll make it as short as i can.

Back after a bit of same ole same ole. Well, kinda. We are both without power from the hurricane and I've been trying to cope as best i can.

DBing, I've been weak on the NC front, but with good reason i think. I actually initiated a conversation to ask what she needed since we are both out of power for the hurricane that just went through. I hung around in 'my' driveway while they were cleaning things out of their garage and got to spend some time with both Ds, so that was something at least.

After asking a few times if she needed anything, I finally got out of the W that she needed more batteries for the flashlights i had gotten her and the kids when they lived here, so i got double what she asked for and gave it to her. At least we are talking. She seemed very tired and almost defeated when i talked to her. Made me want to help her more...

Even though she said she didn't need it, I saw a empty gas can near her trash cans, so on the 2nd run for gas/diesel, i filled it up and left it at her back door so that they'd have gas for their generator.

I saw a guy in a pick-up truck come over, stop in for a short time, only to come back later. Both trips were short. Then i did what i promised i wouldn't do by asking the 4 y/o round about questions that led to the conclusion that a married friend had dropped over a fan. This has had me thinking i'm affected two ways:

1) i found i'm not detached as much as i'd like to be and immediately jumped to the conclusion that perhaps it was a guy seeking her attention
2) If it was innocent and the guy was married like I believe, the W is going out of her way to not reach out to me for help.

Either Way, I'm not detached enough, and i know that i shouldn't be paying attention to what goes on over there as much as i have. In this emergency situation though i am wondering should i still be trying a full detachment? My IC says this is the time to reach out,after all this is my W in a emergency situation.

On another front, I'm now seeing the MC (formerly the W's IC) as my IC as a sort of coach for me. She was pushing me to reach out to the stepkids while the hurricane flooding was severe. Her thoughts are that the W was upset at me for the mixed family issues as well as spending a lot of time away from the family while i was working on my house. bI agree on both front, but what to do now?

Lastly, the neighbor has said that the W wanted to moved away, but now i hear that she is fixing up the STBXMIL's house to have the 4 y/o have her own room. That tells me she is making the house next door a permanent one. Not sure what to make of that, but at least she isn't making plans to commit to a house of her own yet. Perhaps has thats promising? or perhaps its just because she has come to the realization that she cannot afford her own "dream" house? Don't know and probably won't.

Pardon any typos, I found a bottle of wine dated the year we met and have been drinking a couple glasses from it. Further proof I'm not detached enough

Anyway, any advice is welcome.