Yes! I wish Sandi would drop by instantaneously. I have wished that in the past. I echo what J said. I would say basically text a version of what J said - I don't believe dissolution is the solution to our marital problems. But I love and respect you and won't stand in the way of your decision.
Hopefully one of the vets can weigh in soon. You don't have to message her tonight so take a breather.
Yeh that pit can make you do dumb things. Don't even think about begging. It's going to be counter productive. Thinking about it her language is manipulative for sure. DBing is fighting for our marriage indirectly, but it is about saving ourselves. She left you and so she's the one who didn't fight for it IMHO.
Sit tight. Let some others chime in. Go see a movie. Get your head out of it.
This is just awful right now. I am second guessing everything I thought about how I handled fights in the past. Do I fight for her; or did I just sit back? Because of being so passive I feel like I just sat back. So don't I need to 180 and fight now?? Am I really not to say anything to her right now?
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
Do u really think she is going to D u because u asked her for a key? What would u say to her? Why is she only telling u this now when you took some action? Just think through it and talk it out here but do not respond.
I wouldn't say anything at all until you hear from some vets. You'd be totally acting out of emotion. When in doubt, don't. Anything you need to say can wait til tomorrow. Hang in there!
M-60 H-51 M-14 years BD 12/26/16 S 1/1/17
"First the pain, then the rising." Glennon Doyle Melton
Everything you all are saying I totally understand. I feel helpless. Sitting back and not saying anything is not cool...I can just picture tomrw when she shows up with a stack of D papers.
How can I summon the vets! Sandi! Help.
M:30 W:28 T:9 MR:2.5 NoKids Seperation 1: 9/16-12/16 Move back in: 1/17 BD: 8/15 She moved out: 9/1
