You're a good man, holding, and you're doing right by your kids. Hold on to that. Thinking about that will keep you going when you can't go anymore.
I know what you mean about the anger. My STBXW is a master of that game, too. I was (maybe still am) afraid of her temper, and when she gets mad, I STILL feel bad and have to fight the urge to try to do something to make her feel better. Recognizing that it's manipulation in and of itself isn't something I've really thought about. I don't know if I can be doodler, and send the anger right back at her, but I'm hoping that being more aware of it helps. Thanks for posting about it, man.
