PIB - has H ever tried the patch? I think it works better than the gum. Gum can work but most people don't use it properly - chew a couple times, then park it in your cheek. Chew a couple more times a few minutes later, then park it again. Most people just chew like chewing gum, get an overdose of nicotine, feel crummy and quit.
Also - there is a drug that helps smokers quit - it is really the anti-anxiety drug Buspar but they gave it a different name and package for smokers (having a brain fart and can't think of the name right now) - anyway, it's also useful for some depression so might be a great thing for H to try (assuming he like most other WASs here had some degree of depression).
I also got a silver star sticker with "Bravo" on it for exercising at least 3 days this past week!
Woot!
Husband attended with me and clapped for me!
So that went really well!
We did have an issue that came up.
I get a bit anxious when issues arise twice in one week...once should be enough!
Well, apparently, yesterday, Husband's boss approached Husband and said:
Boss: We are having dinner with some people next week...I know you and your wife carpool to work. Will you be able to join us? Or will this be a problem for either you or your wife?
Husband:
No problem at all.
Sigh.
When he told me about it, I said, "Wait, we have already committed to dinner at the country club on Wed with my Parents to celebrate Mother's Day.
Him, "Oh {censored}!"
Me: Can you tell your boss that you had a prior engagement? Explain that it's for Mother's Day??
Him: I don't think so, its a dinner with some pretty important people.
Me: He ASKED you if it would be a problem for you or your wife...that implies to me that he'd be understanding. Please just go explain and ask.
Him: Maybe...
Then this morning on IM:
ME: love love Husband: hey ME: :-) Husband: hrm. ya the dinner is scheduled for the 12th, wed ME: will you tell him about celebrating Mother's day ME: ? Husband: with the guy who is the head of the encyclopedia... that i will be working on Husband: i will see if we can have it thursday ME: that would be wonderful Husband: dont spose we could do country club thurs? ME: no ME: we had a commitment set up with my parents ME: if we tell my Mom that you changed your mind she will take it personally Husband: she won't understand about a work dinner? ME: not when we had already agreed to it Husband: hrm, what time were we going to country club ME: I'm not sure ME: but probably around 6 Husband: k ME: I mean she asked me twice if this was ok ME: I spoke to you and got your confirmation ME: so I told her Husband: i know Husband: this just came up yesterday ME: I know Husband: kk ME: but the next time your boss asks...is there going to be a problem for you or your wife...ASK ME ME: :-) Husband: Husband: I realized last night II had comitted to attend a mothers day country club dinner on wed the 12th... (08:17:47) Boss: well that's fine (08:17:58) Husband: you sure? (08:17:59) Boss: there will be other times like this (08:18:00) Boss: sure ME: wonderful ME: thank you Hon
Ok...So that was the IM of our conversation this morning.
gosh pib, your doing fab!!! i wouldn't be anxious in the least. you are handling yourself wonderfully - no insinuations, no beating around the bush, stating your desires without a bunch of hogwash - men like that
i especially like this
Quote: Husband attended with me and clapped for me!
do you even see how completely fantastic this is????
Quote: good DBing is to find ways to draw each other closer as you stand up for yourself! ... and you have become really good at that!
Another wonderful example today!
Don't fret that you got anxious. That OK and totally understandable. The above is still new territory for you as you are still experimenting to find what works, so until you become more comfortable with knowing what works, being anxious comes with the territory.
Maybe recognizing that H was more than likey just as anxious as you were about the prediciment he had placed himself in might help ease you in that you were not alone with experiencing the emotion. In time PnB, as you continue to achieve positive outcomes from these trials, you will become more comfortable and confident in your new found techniques to receive what you ask for while along continue to move closer to each other.
I've never posted to you before but I came across your post to Pam on her thread, Shine like the Sun. In it you wrote about taking actions toward creating a life that brings beauty, passion and joy and that you were willing to help her. Would you be interested in tossing some hints on doing so to a complete stranger, namely me?
I'm ready to jump back into living again and am receptive to any hints thrown my way.
I quit smoking 7+ years ago. I told myself at least once a day for at least 10 years that I had to quit, that I was killing myself, etc. Every time I quit I started back again except for the last time and I KNEW from the 1st day that that time was different. Didn't use the gum or the patch. I guess it just came from inside. I finally realized that I was killing myself by smoking and that I wanted to live.
Of course, I gained 25 pounds. It took the separation from my H last year to start me losing the weight. I've taken off 30 pounds - went from a 14 to a 4! Worked out regularly till I got my new job a month ago. I'm going to have to re-adjust my schedule to keep working out - I miss it.
Thanks for letting me ramble - have a great weekend.
Mary
"God, help me keep my head up, my heart open, and know I'll always be guided along the path."
First, have you checked out the "Just For Fun" forum?
There is a thread I started over there called "Little things to boost the PMA". Definately check that out.
I love making lists, so I suggest you print out all the great ideas on that thread, make a list and start trying 3 new ideas a week.
Then I suggest you created a second list of the new things you've tried and loved!
Another suggestion I can give you came from the book called "Simple Abundance" by Sarah Ban Breathnach.
She suggests cutting out pictures from magazines of things you want to manifest in your life.
I did this with a group of friends. We each brought whatever magazines we had and shared them. Then we each went through the magazines cutting out whatever pictures appealed to us. We pasted our pictures onto posters and then hung them up in our homes.
I had created mine before Husband and I separated. I took it with me when I moved into my parents house. And I accomplished almost every single picture on that poster.
I found that having that visual to look at every day really helped me stay focused on the sort of life I wanted to create.
I'll look for your threads so that I can get to know you better.
2> We cleaned up the house, me inside, him outside!
3> We watched all 6 hours of the mini-series, "The Stand" together!
4> We had some intense conversations this weekend. Great stuff happening! He was kind, gentle, and understanding.
5> Sunday night, before sleep, he told me, "Happy Mother's Day to a soon-to-be Mother" I thought that was so sweet! (A co-worker of mine just told me on Thursday that she was pregnant with her first child. She has also been trying for years to conceive. She told me about a great website and a great book, "Take Charge of Your Fertility." She credits this book with teaching her a lot of information and helping her reach her goal. And she also gave me some good information about maternity leave benefits. Husband and I had a serious talk. He is absolutely ready. I'm a bit scared. But he wants to begin trying officially. If my co-worker can conceive, then perhaps I can as well. She did tell me that it takes anywhere from 6 months to 2 years once you start using the information in the book and seriously trying.)
If my co-worker can conceive, then perhaps I can as well. She did tell me that it takes anywhere from 6 months to 2 years once you start using the information in the book and seriously trying.)