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Joseph; Yes, as soon as the words were coming out of my mouth; I was thinking...she does not need to know what I am doing...but it happened.


It's not big deal just log it for future reference.


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Yes, it was tough to say the least....all the old emotions of love and disappointments sprung to the surface; not to mentioned all of the threads and books I have read flashed in front of my like a Rolodex...haha. I was trying to remember everything and do everything, but it was not that easy.


It's hard but with practice it will get easier. I am not an expert at it by any means but I just try to act normal around my W, happy, confident like I have the world on a string. That is why getting your self-confidence back is so important. When it happens it makes things easier. That is why going dark/nc is effective because it helps you get that control back.

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Do I need to say anything about her showing up? Do I need to set that boundary right now? Like "please next time you are thinking about coming over let me know; so I am not surprised" or something like that?


Does she have a reason to be there? Does it bother you? Are you worried she is going to take your crap, pour mustard all over your clothes or something? My W still has the code to our garage and I have not enforced anything yet. I did separate all of our accounts though and took away her credit card as soon as she moved out. All of our funds are know separate and she pays her own bills.


Married 14, Together 17
M: 44, W: 43, D: 8, D: 6
M: 46, W: 45. D: 10. D: 8 (CUR)
Bomb Dropped: 5/28/2017
Separation Date: 6/17/2017
Divorce Filed: 2/7/2018
Divorce Final: 4/12/2018