Oh boy...that's where my defensiveness is coming from.
And I really needed to hear that I DID handle it well.
Thank you so much...
This is something I've been thinking about and struggling with lately.
Where do I draw the line between DBing and Standing up for myself. Is there a line to draw between the two? Can I DB while respecting myself and my husband? Of COURSE I can...where did I get the idea that DBing meant being submissive? How silly of me.
I think this last exchange shows that I have learned to respect both of us, while standing up for myself. Apparently I am not at the point where I can trust myself in saying that...so I really needed to hear it from one of my helicopter pilots.
Thank you so very much.
And I will focus on:
Our relationship has improved to the point in which he can turn to me with his struggles. That means sooooo much to me.
I guess I need to be focused on that instead of focusing on my FEAR that he won't ever quit.
I should ACT AS IF he's sincere in his desire to quit in a month.
And:
PIB, you're now someone who is MORE than qualified to show how to make big changes that stick. Right? Show him your determination, along with your loving support, and I believe he will see this as something he can do (and should do).
Thank you again, Bets. If it weren't for you and having this conversation, I wouldn't have realized that I had begun associating DBing with being Submissive. You helped me get what had been in my subconcious out on paper...where I could look at it and see how silly it was!
