Man I feel your pain. I know you're hurt and angry and confused. Trust me, we all understand here. The ones who are fairly new in their sitch's - all of us are going through shades of those emotions and thoughts.
But I want you to do something today and tomorrow.
1. Think critically about where you fell short in the MR? What has W said to you - even if you disagree there is a kernel of truth in there. Find that truth and really think about it. Put her high heels on and try and see it from her end. Then write it all down. And then start figuring out how you can work on them - for YOU, not to win her back. Your goal here is to be a better Jmstl 2.0. It is to grow your own humanity and achieve peace and happiness.
2. What are your physical health goals?
3. What are your emotional/mental health goals?
4. Write down 2-3 activities you love doing? Start doing them - I mean put it down in your calendar and do it.
5. Write 2-3 activities or things you've always wanted to do, or you find intriguing? Start trying them one by one and see how you like it. Again, put it in your calendar and follow through.
6. If you are feeling super anxious and running through light years in your head - get Insight Timer app and see if you can use some of the guided meditation sessions. Some like it some don't. I am growing to enjoy it and it's making me more calm and chill and present to my own needs.
7. Great about IC. Keep it up.
Most importantly, DON'T make these plans and goals in your head only. WRITE THEM DOWN! Put them in the calendar! Develop timelines.
Now you have concrete achievement goals for YOU!
This is going to help you focus it all back on YOU and you will slowly start detaching from your thoughts about her.
You have to do this! Do it today and tomorrow and report back. I am speaking from experience. I have been where you are right now - you can extend this mindset and horrible feelings by wallowing in it, or you can take back control of your life. It is super empowering.
