ILYBINILWY - OW - what to do next 3

[Treasur]

My darling girl
First of all, loved the OWstan thing...and it is true that your H got lost, maybe more lost to himself than OW in truth. OWs are more of a symptom often but you know that.

Good that he's planning on IC and that sounds essential. You share the responsibility for your M as it was, but this crisis and how he handled it belongs only to him. He needs to figure out what his crisis was about, why he chose to deal with it that way and what he needs to do to help both of you rebuild and tidy the mess he made.

But he's not the only battered one, is he? Your emotions sound pretty normal to me. I guess the risk is that you won't feel safe to express them while you're both battered and trying to move forward. Do you have an IC for yourself? If not, would it help if only as a short-term thing to have a safe place to vent and think out loud?

From what I've seen here, it's going to be a tough road for both of you for a little while with a weird mix of joy and confusion. I guess it's like a series of steps - tidy up the fallout first, then MC to rebuild something new. I'm thrilled you both have the chance to do this (a bit envious actually) and wiser heads than mine here will be able to help you keep focusing on you. I suppose for many of us we used to have a Me+You=Us M. Now, and maybe for the better, we see the strength of having a Me+You+Us M instead.