I have a work trip to Germany planned for 2 1/2 weeks from now.
I just offered to give her $150 which should cover food, gas, some fun time out, whatever.
I remember when I was going through all of the support calculations and whatnot that the difference in one overnight a month was really quite significant on the spectrum of support payments. Im not saying $150 is too low; Im more saying that pulling out an arbitrary number as a kind of 'final offer' seems odd. Shes doing you a pretty significant favor that takes say 5 or 6 hours of driving time plus canceling any plans she may have had over those few days. To come in here dismissive of that feels rude. Rather than over here the money, was there any talk of exchanging days? Is there something besides a 'stipend' that you can do to show your appreciation of her flexibility?
Originally Posted By: EastTN
I ended the above conversation by telling STBXW that if D lacked for anything this week to let me know.
I replied that I wasn't going to send money, that it was up to her to do that now, and that if D needed something, we could talk and figure out what makes the most sense for her. Response was "wow, ok, whatever."
Is there a way that you can provide for D without needing W to 'let you know' things? I imagine it would make her feel like youre hovering over her and her ability to be a parent. Dont put yourself in a position to be a savior and then come here complaining about how W is asking you for things! You said she could ask you and when she did, you wanted to have a detailed discussion. Of course that would be frustrating for her.
Dont get me wrong. Im not condoning her behavior in ANY of this. Ive just noticed a new tone in your voice that reeks of maybe judgment? maybe anger? Im not sure. To me, it feels like you are being argumentative for the sake of not agreeing with her. What happened to being empathetic and being validating and being collaborative? Just my 2 cents as an impartial observer.
