Oldtimer 4 years and counting

[Citygrl]

Haven't posted much as not much happening and emotions have kind of dulled. Think getting the Nisi and learning of his dramatic exit from OW2 to OW3 and already off to the Ukraine has actually helped. It confirmed in cement how messed up he is and how OW2 got what she deserved. Wouldn't be surprised if things don't go well with OW3 that he will bounce back to OW2 so preparing for that.

I feel like I am just numb to it all. The man I married and loved and adored and vice versa has vanished. Maybe I will be lucky to get out and his crash and burning will be devastating. More that he is a fool for giving up someone who knew many of his issues and could have supported him and loved him through healing if he had wanted to confront his demons and vanquish them.

Had an email tonight from him about mediation which I started the process and he didn't respond until Mediator sent him a letter. Am too tired and really feel nothing. Will respond later.

Is that an unintentional 180? Feeling apathy? Or part of the healing process. Not really feeling any anger just exhaustion and ......... apathy. That must be my word of the day.