So... today marks the first week that I haven't sent STBXW a check, as what we agreed on for "rehabilitative alimony" is exhausted. I was sending extra money for D on the weekends, but my L said I could stop that, too. I'm of two minds on that. I want D to be able to do fun things, but I also think that STBXW will just convert that to paying her bills.
STBXW asked me for money on Sunday "to pay for her medicine." Any prescriptions would be paid for with the debit card from my insurance. Felt manipulated.
I have a work trip to Germany planned for 2 1/2 weeks from now. STBXW is going to care for D and bring her to school while I'm out of the country. She actually said she had to talk to her L before she'd agree to do it "because it's a lot of time and money and I want to be sure it's ok." That's where this is. Keeping our daughter for three and a half school days merits a call to an attorney.
It's 29 miles door to door from STBXW's house to school, and she said I'd need to pay for an oil change because of how much driving she'll have to do (406 miles worth) and that it was going to be like half a tank of gas a day. The car apparently hasn't had the oil changed in either 9000 or 11000 miles. The car gets 30-40 miles a gallon depending on how it's driven. I just offered to give her $150 which should cover food, gas, some fun time out, whatever.
STBXW will also have her this weekend for the holiday (it's hers under the parenting plan) and an extra day since school is closed. I ended the above conversation by telling STBXW that if D lacked for anything this week to let me know. I got back that I needed to send money, because she wasn't going to get a check, and that STBXW had all these plans for her this weekenf, and she needed 15-20 a day for her. I replied that I wasn't going to send money, that it was up to her to do that now, and that if D needed something, we could talk and figure out what makes the most sense for her. Response was "wow, ok, whatever."
I'm a conflicted, here. L says this is ok, but STBXW still isn't working and I don't feel entirely right about it. At the same time, I also feel like I'm standing up for myself. I'm pretty sure the reason she isn't working is lack of effort on her part. It's not my job to take care of her. She should be giving ME support based on how our time with D works out. I also think about the gas/oil/"medicine" thing and feel like this is just BS manipulation for money.
