Tread pro se means you are representing yourself. It would not cost anything. All you would have to pay is the filing fee. If you can't afford that you can often submit an affidavit in forma pauperis, meaning you can't pay the filing fee. To qualify you will like have to be below the poverty level. Nevertheless the filing fee should be a couple of hundred bucks at the most.

Tread the wife you recall is gone. Your choice is how you deal with the woman in front of you. I promise I could give you a more heartbreaking story as could most of the people here.

Let go of the humiliation and the rage. Move forward productively. Don't try to "shake her out of it". Do what you need to do for yourself. Detachment feels much better than living in pain. Focusing on you and your happiness is more productive than waiting and stewing.

You think this pain is going to kill you, but it isn't. It will get better. It does stop hurting.

Read up on divorce in your state.

Have a good handle on all assets (including retirement accounts, house equity, personal property, separate property if your state will consider it, etc).

Have a good handle on all debts. Is the debt joint?

Look up the standard visitation schedule in your area. Does that work for you? Would it be good for your S?

When focusing on visitation, don't become obsessed with what is typical, etc. You know your wife, what is she likely to actually exercise. I could give mine 1/2 time and he wouldn't use one day of it. I tell him all the time he can see S whenever he wants. He is down to about 1 day of a couple of hours per month.

This is like winding up a business. It doesn't have to be emotional. Just address one issue at a time. See what options your state has for various types of divorces (some seem to have uncontested processes, etc.).

You can do this and stop the bleeding. You can begin to turn your focus to other areas. For me it helps to focus on my kids and what would make them happy. I have a 14 yo son. He does not want to talk about his dad, he doesn't want to hear me say bad things about his dad, he doesn't want to see me upset about his dad. He has accepted that our family is different now. He is getting stronger every day.