Alone and Confused (Not so Angry) 2

[woundedfool]

Question is how much do i detach?

Fully and completely. I can't seem to find that old livestrong link on detachment. Can anyone post it?

Do i continue to do family activities and play it cool when she leaves?

You should not base your family activities on if she is or isn't there, or when she does or doesn't leave.

W does tell the kids and me she feels we are moving in the right direction but when question get pointed she gos quiet and just says I DONT KNOW HOW I FEEL,

Then stop questioning her, that is turning the screws and creating more pressure on her.

Can't seem to let the last convsrsation with w go. She recognizes that she is spending to much time alone and is empty inside but thinks she will work through it.

That is for her to resolve.

I dont seem to be the total resson for all her issues anymore but she does still have a big trust issue.

Yep, you got the blame because you were the one standing next to her, now that there has been some space, and her issues are not resolved.... she *might* see that she needs to do some work on her.

The problem is the things im being accused of are not true. We always had a very open and truthful relationship now she looks at everything like its a lie.

Like what?

I know i need to get distance but i feel like i also need to stick up for myself and set the record straight.

Nope, that is your pride messing with your mind. No need to replay any tapes to "set the record straight" just keep moving forward. In fact, try to see some of her perspective, if there is a grain of truth in in, then validate. If its totalls wrong and not true, use terms like: "I am sorry I disappointed you, or I made you feel that way"

I guess my question is what do i have a WAW, WW or MLC?

Right now, it still doesn't matter. Stop focusing on fixing her. Continue to fix yourself.

And how do i proceed i know with all my heart she needs help!!!!

That is the detachment part, you need to do it in a kind loving way.

When I mention depression and hormonal issues I list them after our marriage issues

That is better left to the professionals to sort out. There is not a single thing you can do to help that process, other then being supportive in a healthy way.

My kids feel left behind also, my son seems to
Be dealing better then my daughter the both are helping me and we have had long talks. I even offered to leave and have there mom come home.

Nice gentlemanly like offer, but don't do that again. Your kids need continuity and stability right now. Keep things as they are for them.

Both my kids hugged me at that point and I quote. "No dad your doing the right thing we just need to help Mom get better".

Nice

Time To GAL

And what is on the agenda?