It's obvious she's very hurt and hates my guts. Lots of allegations and misinterpretations, much of which I have evidence against.
Ah well
ALL the filings hurt. Most feel like attacks (and some are) and it's natural that we take them very personally.
I'm a L and I know they are what they are. Yet when I read the pleading my H's lawyer sent, I felt sick and I felt almost violated.
Then I looked on the last page to check if it was actually our divorce. It was so distorted that I wasn't sure I had the right one. Literally.
And some of the statements of fact (not his "spin" which happens in all cases) but actual misstatements of fact which I could easily prove (like H claiming to earn $100k LESS than he said, and I had the last tax filing so I just faxed it to my L and shook my head) - those perplexed me. It's almost as if h does not know he's lying. Like he believes it.
So there's "spin" which we have to let roll off our backs, (OR access that it's their perception of events, at the moment). But if it's a provably false statement, just provide your L with your own evidence and move along.
We have to let go of the rest (not legally speaking, but emotionally).
Also, do Not assume she hates your guts. When we are hurt we assume the only way someone could hurt us is solely due to their hatred of us, rather than their own pain.
We have all had moments in which we feel hatred for our spouse b/c we are so deeply wounded and so very angry.
Only with more time and detachment will we (and they) be able to remember the good times and tender moments. It's counter productive to project strong permanent negative emotions onto them. (Nor should we project our own moral compass on them as well). Just try harder to detach.
We are far too close to the situation now, we cannot see the forest for the trees.
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
