Journey to Acceptance

[Coly23]

Thanks so much fo your comments everyone. I'm feeling much better today.

Bttrfly, thank you for the hugs. IDK, maybe I am missing something or because it's my sitch I just don't see it as pursuit. Maybe it's because I see pursuit as an activity that increases steadily but I have a feeling I won't hear from him for a while now!

I really hope that he thought about me on our anniversary. Even if it wasn't romantic thoughts maybe just a fondness of what we had together. I would give anything to know what he was thinking and feeling. I can imagine that D not wanting to go away with him has affected him in some way and if it didn't then he has no feelings! He must realise that his opportunity to go away with her from now on is slim to zero and that is really sad.

I did have my Caribbean themed party in the end! D talked me into it and I'm really glad she did because we had a fantastic time! My family brought some yummy food! Jerk chicken, salmon and ribs and I did rice and peas and coleslaw. Very yummy!

Ownit, if that is the case in that he gets worried when we pull away from him then it has taken a very long time to get to this stage or maybe its just that I had not given it enough time before! We have had two periods of no contact of around seven weeks each time but we always broke it by asking him to come to lunch or dinner. This time around we did not contact him since D's prom on 23rd June which was the last time we had spoken/seen to him. Although I did have to contact him about money in July but that was it, so maybe this has confused him and worried him because we haven't done what he might have expected us to do. What I do know however is that no contact is really helping me to stop spinning as you can see from my reaction when he does contact me now!

Ahh, thanks AP! I did have a good cry on Saturday morning before the party. It was very cleansing. Then I did my exercise DVD and cleaned the house to within an inch of its life in readiness for the party and that really took my mind off it all. Also I did have a real sob with a male friend of mine a couple of weeks ago after a night out drinking cocktails. He always manages to make me very emotional! He is married and bats for the other team so no danger of any inappropriateness!

Thanks for the visit Westo. I am trying so hard to take the positives from this but I guess only time will tell! I guess he is starting to realise that he is missing all the important events in D's life and we aren't bending for him.

I am going to dig deep like Bttrfly suggested and continue to live my life but try to have zero expectations as to whether this piece of contact means anything. I guess that's how I am going to have to play it from now on.

Happy Sunday everyone!