Sometimes I feel like I've come so far. And sometimes I feel like I haven't travelled far at all.

I don't really want to think about what happened any more. About the hurt and pain and confusion.

Like an amputation, it's done and that part of me has gone forever.

Only way to deal with it all is to look forward. And adapt. And learn a new way of being in a different self.


Anyone else feel like that? Or just me?

Me: 48, XH: 42
T: 18 years, M: 15 years

EA/PA 1: 6/2012
EA/PA 2: from autumn 2012-present

BD: 5/2013
ILYBNILWY BD & left: 10/2015

OW conceived: 8/2016
Born: 4/2017

H filed: 7/2017
D final: 28/12/2017