Wife says that she had enough, files for divorce

[SwHubby]

Need some advice from a third party regarding my sitch. I really do not have anyone to discuss with.

In my country, dividing assets are done through each person taking their assets minus their debts. Then the value from each person is put together and then divided in 2. Personal stuff like clothes, jewlery and so on is exkluded. Also gifts and inheritance is excluded if it was expressed in written that is was to be excluded in case of future divorce (as an example). Debts are still personal and cannot pass on to someone else, but the value is accounted for.

This is to make sure that each person in a marriage leaves it with the same amount of net assets (more or less). There are of course exeptions from this main principle (as always).

W is currently pressing to get my to close the financial part asap without L since "we are reasonable ppl who can discuss and agree upon things", she told me today (since when?). But she did not want to sign anything, just transfer some money and register her as new car owner of my car (this was agreed upon before). I have told her that I want to do everything "by the book" to close it properly. Everything is easy to value and divide since there are not so much stuff. House, car, savings. Other stuff has been divided already. But.... I have student debts. That my L adviced was to be naturally included. I have been thinking about is alot since I found out about this, if it were morally correct of me to insist including them.

On one hand, it is my personal debt that I changed for personal knowledge. On the other hand, the money was spent on the two of us (living and food) and got me a job were I made substantially more money than her and supported us. Further complicating is that her father gave her money to partially pay for our home which she did.

W got really upset and anger today when I told her that I have debt, after she called my to press me today to finalize and speak up now it is was anything else than the car that were left to divide.

She also told me that she found it really offensive that I correct her about things, but my intentions today were to make sure that we are speaking about the same and correct thing since it is important. The problem is that I have corrected her in the past (I hate that I did it, mostly on autopilot) and I guess that it triggers alot of negative feelings in her.

As usual I started to break down during our conversation, bringing forth my anxious behaviour and Mr NG.


So what to do? Just give her the money and STFU to get us both to get on with our lives?

I am also thinking that if I do so, my normal thought since I want to support W and be Mr NG, I am giving her money to pay for her L to keep our D living with her permanently (I am starting to understand that we cannot agree on our D, which is also what my therapist is telling me).

I am sorry if this is hard to follow, writing on my phone with lousy grammar control.

Please give me a 2x4!