I have a feeling, if I know her - the next step is going to be her reaching out asking why I have not called or texted. Do I continue to explain I am thinking things through? I cannot see that response working time and time again.
No, I would not pretend that you are still thinking about it. I would not get into a R talk, b/c it will make matters worse. I think your best bet is to tell her you do not see divorce as the remedy for the M's problems......but, that you will respect her wishes if she pursues it. Don't sound clingy or weak. Keep it short, factual, and unemotionally. Don't make promises or try to talk her out of it.
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Eventually she will want to meet up and talk about our future; if that is the case. The first couple times; I will work the strategies (180; cheat sheet info, etc.). If she wants to discuss the M; is it then time where I express what I 'newly' want...the items from the book and how to actually put them in place (actions, not feelings)?
You mean meeting up after you tell her you'll respect her wishes to divorce? I doubt she will want to discuss the M, if she preparing for a divorce. She may want to discuss dividing assets, IDK. But don't get your hope up that she'll want to have a R talk. Unless she should happen to open that door very widely, she's not going to care about your feelings or what you want.
She has to go through a process, and at the moment.......she might as well be on a different planet from you. Maybe a day will come that you can tell her you want a new M, but I doubt she'll be interested right now. Although you want to approach it like a fresh, new M........in her frame of mind, she can't have those feelings and insight of a fresh beginnings with you. Some day, maybe.......but not while she is marching forward to get a divorce.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
