I'm writing this off line at home after reading up to yesterday's posts, so I'm risking being a bit untimely with this, but I just didn't have as much time as I wished to post yesterday.
You are an amazing woman and even tho you may not realize it now ... you have already become pillar of strength ... in that you are always strive to become a better PnB. Weightwatchers, Graduate program, creating your dream house, building a wonderful M, and a being career oriented too ... as the slogan says ... "You've come a long way, baby!" ... from feeling like you withering at the vine to bountiful and brilliantly colored blossoms. To "watch" you on your journey from PnT to PnB, continues to inspire me to believe that one day CAW can see that she can transform herself from for withering soul to such vibrancy she once had within our M.
I'm sorry to hear about your new boss, not only because of the current stresses he has created, but because I know how fond you were of your former boss for the way he supported your career at the University. I have to agree with you and the ladies, at best his intentions do seem suspicious in nature, especially after yesterday's phone conversation. I get the sense that he will continue to push until he knows he has hit a boundary. In harassment (not just sexual) prevention training, they state that anyone has the right to state when they are uncomfortable with another's behavior. Upon notification, the "offender" has by law the obligation to cease that behavior and if repeats it, is considered legally as harassment.
I would advise using some the tools you have learned here and state how you feel using only "I" statements and simply put. Something like, "I know we need some time to get to know one another in a working environment, so along those lines, I feel I need to let you know I get uncomfortable when you ...[and state the specifics]. I'm looking forward to working you and wish there to be no apprehension as we work together."
I remember how you had to face adversity with your former, former boss, when she was giving you a hard time and you triumphed. I have faith that you will succeed again. You should too. I also like the suggestion of bringing up mention of H whenever appropriate. It will send the message that you are very committed to H, so hopefully shuts any door boss might be thinking about in that direction
It sounds like its going great between you & H. Congrats on H's new job. I hope he sees more potential in it than where he had been and I picked up on how H choose to decline staying away for six weeks.
... and just a general thought on how to boost PMA ... Do something different. Something you would not normally do. Even something as simple a spending some time on a park bench on a beautiful spring day watching birds and people go by, if you have not done so before. Pop into a store you haven't been in before. Eat at a new restaurant. Visit some local tourist places in your "backyard" that you haven't been to yet, etc... Actually, I mentioned this before to Dagny, by doing things you haven't done before in your local area, its like go on vacation without actually going anywhere, so we can do it at anytime ... and we know how vacations boost the ole PMA.
Well have to get ready to take CAW to the doc. Hopefully today, we will be able to shed some light on what is causing her headaches.
I really appreciate you taking the time to point out all these positives in my life.
I truly have a lot to be thankful for.
Thank you for reminding me.
Thank you for your thoughts on how to handle the situation with my boss. I'm still mulling things over, trying to figure out the best way to handle the situation with grace and dignity for all. I will post an update when I have one!
Yes, Husband deserves praise for not electing to spend 6 weeks away from me.
And I must admit to my shame that I've been sulking.
I keep telling myself that he has not abandoned me.
That he is taking care of his family, which shows how wonderful and mature he is.
I may be re-experiencing some of the same feelings I had when first starting on this path...but you are absolutely right..I'm in a totally different place now.
Things ARE different.
It is time for me to stop sulking!
Thank you so much for the timely post KAW. I really needed that.
I had a nice weekend. My parents came over with their lawn mower and we all 3 mowed the yard. Took us half an hour. Mom took one half, I took the other, mowing with both mowers, and my Dad stood pieces of plywood up in the holes so we didn't step in them.
The yard looks GOOD! Husband will be pleased when he comes home.
I got a bit of a sunburn in that half hour. OUCH!
Boss asked me today what I thought about him having a BBQ at his house for our department.
I said, "As long as I can bring my husband."
He said, "Yes, sure, bring your husband. No, wait no husbands allowed."
I said, "In that, case, I'm sorry, but I won't be able to attend."
He said, "Seriously, do you think it's a good idea?"
I said, "I don't know, is it usual to have a departmental meeting at someone's house?"
Quote: I remember the day I was finally able to do it as profound. But for me, I found that it wasn't a space I was able to stay in for more than a few days, once I acheived it.
It's something I strive for...regularly.
It's harder to be detached when things are going well, I find. or they throw you for a loop by seeming more attentive
It seems to make the bumps feel so much bigger.
This is me!
Relax. Appreciate. Be calm. Laugh. Enjoy. Be secure. Be loving. Be loved. Don't personalize. Don't ASSume. Accept. Be grateful.
I found something that SAGE said that rang true for me...reposting here.
Quote: 3. I had kind of an interesting insight yesterday. I think I've mentioned before that I've struggled with forgiveness of my mom ...just had the feeling that some things "shouldn't" happen. Well, I realized yesterday that I've been carrying around this misperception -- the notion that people who LOVE you don't do certain things...and therefore, since certain things have happened, I must be without love in my life. I think it kind of comes down to feeling as though I need to be perfect (because I AM holding myself to the same criteria) and that others need to be perfect and that if we're NOT then our love is flawed.
BUT...people who love each other DO make mistakes. I HAVE hurt others who are important to me...those I love...and I have been hurt by those who love me...opening myself up to the reality that mistakes and missteps and flaws ARE part of the love experience unblocks me, I think. It allows me to see that forgiveness is not only possible but necessary -- not just for others but also for myself.
So, I wanted to share with you, I found a great FREE website. It's helping me study for the GRE. But it has other tests like the SAT's.
It takes each section and in the introduction reviews a whole bunch of concepts.
Yesterday I went over fractions and percentages.
Oy...my poor mind!
Reviewing this stuff is taking me back to feeling young in a different way.
It's nice to see this stuff as an adult and realize that it's still hard. It's not that I was a dumb child or a slow learner...it's that this stuff is really hard.
I feel so much better about myself realizing that!
