The board has seen this scenario many times. Sometimes a couple becomes so burdened down with responsibilities of life that they are too exhausted to give the MR the proper nourishment it needs. Other times, the lack of intimacy is caused from a lack of attraction. Women are more complex than men, therefore, it's usually something in the woman that is the root of the couple's lack of intimacy. I won't say it's 100% in every case, but in most cases, it points toward the woman. Men pass it off as the W having a low sex drive..........and that is certainly possible, especially during changes in their hormones. However, when this turns into months.....even years of barely any sex at all, it is usually something hindering the W's feelings toward her H.
Yes, I really think my XW and I ended up in our mess because we quit nurturing the intimacy of the M. Both of us used the "roommates" analogy when discussing our issues, even well before BD. Ironically we had a very active sex life even after BD, but sex and intimacy are not the same thing. We had plenty of one and none of the other. That is not the fault of one spouse or the other, it's ALWAYS because BOTH spouses are at fault. BD is really just a matter of which spouse gets tired of it first.
