Leah, part 4

[leahsue]

Thanks Treasur, but I don't know if I did myself any favors. I think in some ways I was more at peace with accepting that it was over. It seems it was easier to GAL a week ago. Now I just miss him. I hope Ownit is right, and the feeling part will begin to subside. The only thing that gives me any peace right now is the fact that he doesn't know I miss him like this, and that seems almost so backward from true honest living. I guess it really is all just a game.

Also I'm finding it harder to reach out to my "support" people, because it's almost like they don't want to intrude, and I don't feel like talking about the visit anyway, so I find myself not reaching out. In many ways, it was easier to reach out to people when the heartbreak was so evident-somehow I felt justified in reaching out for help with loneliness. Now it just feels selfish. Such crazy emotions.

Tomorrow I'm promising myself to get back out there and be thankful for each moment.