Not sure what else to do

[doodler]

I got paid from the sale of the house this morning.

Jmstl,

You're my new best friend.

[Jmstl]

I got paid from the sale of the house this morning.

Jmstl,

You're my new best friend.

Heh, yeah, getting a lot of new friends all of the sudden 8)

[Jmstl]

Just need to put this down

ATM, I am starting to cycle into anger again. Not at W, but at her (our friends) Everyone wanted to be supportive of her. Noone told her leaving was wrong and to work it out. Everyone just said if you want to leave, we will be here to support you.

[Jmstl]

Folks...
Tomorrow the W and I are supposed to clean out our storage unit together. She is supposed to have someone watch the kids so we can concentrate on cleaning.

How do I handle this?
I want to just be cool, and not say anything, or get emotional over stuff in the unit. But I am afraid I will. I also know I will /have/ to communicate with her in some way. I want this to come off as pleasant as possible, probably detached yet polite. Let her know I am moving on. Let see what she will be missing.

[doodler]

How do I handle this?

My god man, you're a masochist.

If I'd been in your situation, my biggest issue would've been getting angry when my wife started pushing my buttons. When I'd had plenty of time to prepare for her onslaught of button-pushing, I usually did fairly well. I'd just validate or not respond if her comments didn't warrant a response. It's important to put some forethought into your responses to her standard spew. If you feel anger welling-up, then take a break and go get a snack and a drink or anything to give yourself some time to recoup.

Another alternative is to avoid cleaning the storage unit together. One of you could take the kids for a couple of hours, and then you could switch-off. I know that may not be practical, but if you anticipate conflict, it may be preferable.

[Jmstl]

How do I handle this?

My god man, you're a masochist.

If I'd been in your situation, my biggest issue would've been getting angry when my wife started pushing my buttons. When I'd had plenty of time to prepare for her onslaught of button-pushing, I usually did fairly well. I'd just validate or not respond if her comments didn't warrant a response. It's important to put some forethought into your responses to her standard spew. If you feel anger welling-up, then take a break and go get a snack and a drink or anything to give yourself some time to recoup.

Another alternative is to avoid cleaning the storage unit together. One of you could take the kids for a couple of hours, and then you could switch-off. I know that may not be practical, but if you anticipate conflict, it may be preferable.

Maybe I am.

I am going to try and detach. But I want to spend as much time with her as I can. Give her a taste of what she is missing.

I am going to try and be polite, and helpful where I can, but not go out of my way to bend over for her.

[Jmstl]

What are everyone's thoughts on being dressed up when she comes to pick up the kids tonight? Make her think/see that I am going out and I GAL?

I probably will go out, but I mean being dressed for when she shows up.

[Jmstl]

What are everyone's thoughts on the MGTOW philosophy. I like it in the aspect of male empowerment, but seems to be a bit anti-female, which I am not into.

I will say, I watched/listened to a few videos on male grief/hurt/healing, and found them very insightful

[Jmstl]

oh, so when this started, she made a 'separation layout'. This was what I operated under, until she flipped the script a few weeks later and said she wanted a divorce

Reason for separation: to find a solution to our current state of sadness, stress, tension, disagreements, and fighting.

Goal of separation: structure and goal oriented separation to repair marriage; rebuild rather than dissolve the union

Separation plan: X and kids move to apartment this weekend. Y stays in the house until it sells. Everyday routine... should it stay as is and the kids just sleep at the apartment until it sells, then reassess? Or should we move to the schedule we dictated for the legal separation paperwork? I believe separation will:
provide time and emotional space outside of our romantic/love relationship to enhance each of our personal, spiritual, and emotional growth
provide time to identify individual needs and wants - basic relationship needs, including expectations of our relationship and identifying specific things as needed
provide enough emotional distance to separate my own (X's) issues from yours (Y's)
hopefully provide an environment, an opportunity, to heal our relationship and transform or evolve into a healthy, more loving relationship


So, what the HELL made her change her mind SO FAST? having a bit of freedom, means dropping nearly 10 years of marriage?

Gah, I am so angry right now. *Breathe, Breathe*

[TBSakaJ9]

I always make sure I am looking good when I am going to see the W