Lost on how to save my marriage!

[joejoe1]

My wife and I will be married 7 years on Sept 18th. We have 4 boys together and 2 made by her and I.

In June my wife informed she was fed and and she was never in love with me. She told me that she had feelings for an old boyfriend from 17 years ago and she couldn't understand why they feeling never went away. She informed me that she felt like we weren't meant to be and she felt that we were disconnected.

We had a bunch of talks, which was me approaching her about the relationship and that seem to keep pushing her further and further away. During those conversations she told me she felt like I didn't provide her security and protections and I didn't understand her values.

During our talks also informed her she should to see the other guy and found out what she wanted to do (a stupid decision on my part)

She started talking back to her on boyfriend he lives in Maryland we live in San Antonio. Her sister was traveling the East Coast, so she took a trip to go visit her sister and her sister friend in July and they all met in Maryland. We she got back I asked her did she see him she told me no.

This past Monday I got into her phone and found out she did in fact actually see him. On her FB messenger they were telling each other they love each other. After I found out, I was heated I told her to get her things and get out. After about 15 mins, I calmed down and told her I wasn't mad and we talked about it and she informed me she think she is in love with him. She went in the closet and prayed and asked GOD for forgiveness. That night she informed me she knew what she had to do with the other guy since she was still married.

Also during the episode after I found about her and the OM, she informed me it worried her that I was so calm. Only thing I can think of why I was so calm is because of GOD's grace on me.

The next day we talked and she informed me she told the other guy she is wants to be by herself to work on herself. She told me she didn't feel the way about me the way I feel about her. She said that her the other guy hasn't something me and her don't have, (a friendship). I still know she is communicating with him.

During this time frame, I have been working on myself. I have lost 33 pounds and still losing I started going back to church and praying more. I feel happier and better. I'm very calm and I not to upset about much. It's a little freaky.

She hasn't ask for a divorce, moved out or starting packing her things.

I also have talk to 2 marriage coaches. The first one I talked to, told me to let ago (that was about 3 weeks ago). I don't think I fully let go like he informed me to do. I talked to another coach from divorce busting.com yesterday and he informed since my wife hasn't moved out, asked for a divorce and we are communicating and having a few long conversations to continue doing what I'm doing.

I have been helping out around the house more, smiling more, and helping with the boys more.

What plan do I follow, to try and fix my marriage?