Yeah - the whole "we'll still be friends" thing. I've not read back in your thread to see if that was a factor with your W or not or just with your MIL.
I think that this is something that a very lot of us are baffled by / trying to cope with. Coly23 I know has a similar thing going on (waves) but maybe not quite the same. I've been here for a bit though and I've seen it as a very common theme.
It may be part of the whole "I didn't do anything wrong and you should continue being the person you always where while I ran off to dance with the fairies" thing that seems to happen to quite a number of our former partners.
In my case she brought this up a few times when she was home and as she was leaving. I wasn't hugely surprised when it came up during the separation meeting even though to me it was hugely off-topic.
It has set me off "spinning" for the first time in a while though asking myself what would it take for me to be "friends". I just don't see that happening. For me to even come around a bit she'd have to be honest with the kids etc about what happened. They know the basics from me now. I am positive that she won't do it though. She'll want me to buy into her own narrative which currently may be what she told her lawyer that there "was" no affair and that she hooked up after she left which perhaps she believes herself. Anyone with half a brain and was around knows that to not be true. The smug looks and petty actions which she used to use to control me are all still there though. I'm just more resistant to them now but it turns out not completely.
I can't see being friends with someone who won't own up to their actions. I'd call it mistakes but she may not look at it that way. There are a bunch of other things too that would be required to make her look like a half-decent human being to me again as well.
Will I be able to be "civil" to her? I was during the meeting but it is and probably will be the sort of civility I would give to someone who ran over my cat and drove off but then pretended that nothing happened when I saw them on the street.
Sigh
Sorry for the possible thread-jack and thanks again for the visit.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
