Mark, maybe look at it this way. I think it's fair to say that everything you've done up until now has not worked as far as bringing your W back. I don't think you've really seen any baby steps at all from her, correct? So in DB'ing parlance of "keep doing what works and don't do what doesn't work", enough time has passed to where you need to try something different. I think what a lot of us would like to see happen is for you to get sick and tired of your sitch and get angry enough to make some big changes. Honestly I am right there with 25, I would love for you to just go reclaim your damned house and tell your W that if she doesn't like it, tough crap. Tell her you're done seeing her act like a tramp in front of your kids, disrespecting herself and their father in the home that YOU helped create and you're not going to deal with it anymore, and if she doesn't like it then here's the number of your lawyer. We keep saying you can't "nice her back" and you keep saying you're not being nice to her, just cordial. But the very fact you're letting her carry on like this is classic nice guy syndrome doormat stuff, and it's not attractive.
I'm not saying to switch from being a nice guy to an ahole, I'm just saying stand up for yourself. She's trampled on you long enough!
