Well, here I am, a month later. Nothing's really changed.

She didn't appeal the court order, so C/S and APL are set, and I'm pretty satisfied. I'm pretty sure she just read down to the number, and didn't realize how much it's going to drop in a year when S17 graduates and the arrears is paid off. Not my problem.

I've been giving her space, going dark, GAL. Still exercising, still meeting friends for drinks/lunch, still golfing, still keeping the house tidy and clean, trying new things, having fun with the kids, spending time at my family's cabin (which she loved.... I'm sure she's bummed she'll not be invited again). Bought a new car. Something less than 27 years old (my current ride), with air conditioning (yeah!). Been on a few dates.

BUT

I just can't detach. I act "as if," but I still miss her terribly. She just bought two kittens. I'm allergic to cats. Knife in the heart. Going dark is easy 'cause I don't want to talk to her and remember how much I miss her. I've been on a few dates, but I know I'm emotionally unavailable. I enjoy these women's company, but emotionally they don't mean anything to me 'cause I'm still hung up on her.


M:23 T:26
Me:53, Wife: 60
S:18
D:16
filed 7/16
W moved out 4/28/17