you develop a few mantras and you stay on message.

When he brings up a hurtful event that you believe you are at least partly responsible for,

you apologize without minimizing or explaining away a defense for why you did it.

And then you add in, "If I could do it all over again, I'd do a lot of things differently"...

If he blames you for something you remember very differently OR not at all,

you say "H, wow that's not how I recall it happening but I'm sorry it hurt you."

Don't worry about the scorekeeping or thinking about when HE is going to take ownership of HIS flaws and his part, etc.

Now is not the time for this^^. You have the rest of your lives to assign blame (not saying you want to, but if)...

Regardless then you get back onto the topic at hand.

And if he presses you about any legal/financial issues, you tell him that you "need time to process" this and will get back to him. (And You are merely taking things slowly as you "don't want to be too reactive", etc).

With these^^ behaviors and NOT escalating, you are showing change far more than any words could ever,

and you'll never regret staying calm & dignified.

((( )))


PS

I doubt this m is going to just end. Things may well turn round, so protect yourself --legally & financially AND without a scorched earth policy.

Make sense?


M: 57 H: 60
M: 35 yrs
S30,D28,D19
H off to Alaska 2006
Recon 7/07- 8/08
*2016*
X = "ALASKA 2.0"
GROUND HOG DAY
I File D 10/16
OW
DIV 2/26/2018
X marries OW 5/2016

= CLOSURE 4 ME
Embrace the Change