Mark, are you there? You said to bring on the 2*4s so I just did what I was told :-)
Thank you, guys, I appreciate it. I owe all of you so much because as I said I read here every day after BD and it was my personal daily support system!
2016, I honestly don't know about other programs, and I never looked at them. My H's ex-OW's H (now XH) who was also a friend told me about the MWD's site/books and it all made sense. I can say that if I had had this material (and the strength to follow through) at the time when he dropped his bomb on me, I don't think he would have left at all.
Mark, speaking of my H's ex-OW's XH (can I just call him my friend now?) like I said, he nailed DB. In some ways you remind me of him. He is highly intelligent, logical thinker who does all the research, a problem solver, and he can win any debate! I on the other hand am intuitive, emotional, and reactive (not only that, but hopefully I make my point). Well post-BD when our S's decided to run off with each other, we sort of went through this process together. I didn't post here, but relied on his frequent support and 2*4s. I would call him beside myself and he would tell me in his own words to not contact H, to focus on me and the kids, and guide me away from reacting on my emotions. Meanwhile he was out 180/GAL like the best of them.
He also took a very strategic approach to his DBing. When I read your posts and the way you have organized and listed your strategies, I know could have really benefited from some 2*4s from you! In fact, I would say you have it together more than a lot of posters when they first come here.
The reason I feel so inclined to post to you is not because I see that you are doing anything wrong, not at all! It is because I am seeing your logical brain take over the drivers seat and I am concerned you are not facing the emotional process. We have to also accept the painful reality and allow ourselves the many emotions that come with this betrayal (that part I totally nailed it). Do you have an IC to help you navigate the grief process? I think once you can do this, you can be much more successful at detaching, dropping the rope, and it will boost your confidence to realize you really are too good for this treatment!
Also, we all agree here that your only shot at her ever second guessing herself is when she sees that she has lost you ...
Blu
“Forgiveness liberates the soul. It removes fear. That is why it is such a powerful weapon.” – Nelson Mandela
