A familiar story with questions. II

[RR17]

So, back to you. I saw you using words like distant/pursuit, going dark, dumping, experiencing potential loss, etc. If I understand correctly, this was all within a seven day period? And now, you are saying you have a new, sweet wife. You say you know her best, (and of course, you do). I am trying to figure out where you are in your sitch. I would like to help, and I would like to be able to protect you from an inevitable let down.

Yes within a 7 day period.
I do understand that expecting lasting results is not a quick process. Like I said before. I try stuff and I report the results. If the results happen quickly that is beyond my control.
I too am trying to figure out where I/we are in my sitch. I won't pretend to know. I only share what I see and given my history (20+ years) with this person, what my perceptions are.
I do appreciate your help, Sandi.

I think most everything you said to her over that week (starting with your threat, and ending with the above quote), was to get a reaction from her. This is another pitfall for many newcomers. Sometimes it can be effective, but other times it can go against you. Take the quote above, for instance. It sounds controlling, IMHO, and I think you wanted to see how she would react. Would she assure you that you had nothing to worry about, or would she cry and plead with you, would she beg for your forgiveness? Well, she did not say any of those things.........so now, you are left a little in the dark.

Not true. The threat and all that came after was from a place of anger and was not intended to manipulate. I realize it was a side effect.
As for the quote, well, my wife doesn't ever plead with me, would she beg for your forgiveness? Not going to happen. Never would expect that.
I said it because I did feel she was glazing over the last month's events and that I did, in fact, feel I had lowered my defenses.

....I, too, feel that I often do a terrible job of communication. I speak very candidly........and with quite a bit of passion........and some people read it as me being harsh. What bothers me the most, however, is for someone to misunderstand what I'm trying to explain. So with that in mind..........maybe we can take a deep breath and start from here and go forward. Please ask questions if you do not thoroughly understand something from me, b/c my fingers can't type as fast as my thoughts......so I could leave out details.

I've heard the same thing all my life. People also come to me when they want truthful advice.