I agree entirely with Blu. Thank you for that post. The percentage of piecers is really small. We all have to realize this. We have to realize we don't control it. Both people need to go through their own journeys and most likely they do not end up joining together again.
Originally Posted By: Mark_P
2. Being her friend – again when SHE progresses this I’m not here now waiting to expect her to sit down each day and talk about any old thing IT JUST DOESN’T HAPPEN but with the eventual deterioration of their A she will possibly want someone to talk to hopefully she’ll remember that I am a good person/husband/father and someone she could rely on way in the past and come to me. This is where I feel the DR books content comes into its own.
What I've read during my sitch, most of the WWs do not go back to the M if their XH is like you are explaining here. Because that isn't attractive at all. You will much more likely end up being a "gay boyfriend" who gets to listen to all the tears while she takes other men. Trust me on this, the successful cases with WWs are when the H has been more with a "f u b¤&%!" mentality (well, not directly like that, but you get the point ). Showing an attractive alpha male who doesn't care a crap about her. I mean, she DISRESPECTED you. You need to gain that respect back. Read TX's thread. That's EXACTLY how Tx was. YOUR W HAS TO WIN YOU BACK!!! It's not the other way around.
You are a valuable person and the world is full of women who would want you Mark. Stop keeping her in a pedestal - detach from yourself and look at the situation in 3rd person. Are you REALLY sure you even want a person like this back?! (you can use this mentality to "gain the respect back"). I am not in a similar situation (my XW is having an A/new R, but is not pushing it to my face and we have active D waiting period already) but I already realized that I'm not in love anymore - I'm just sad because I have LOST the CONTROL and I just FEAR the FUTURE. Are you sure you aren't in a similar situation?
Sorry about the 2x4 especially if it's wrong as I haven't read the entire sitch through. Not trying to sound mean or anything. I just fear that you don't see this and end up hurting yourself in the long-run.
In my thirties, BDd 2017, divorced 2 young kids new relationship
). Showing an attractive alpha male who doesn't care a crap about her. I mean, she DISRESPECTED you. You need to gain that respect back. Read TX's thread. That's EXACTLY how Tx was. YOUR W HAS TO WIN YOU BACK!!! It's not the other way around. 
