Limerence and My Situation Pt3

[Parkema]

Hi 25yearsmlc,

Thanks for your response.

As I thought the recent “positives” turned out to be nothing more than temperature checking as last night the pre-holiday WW returned. I could have called it a push-back but we’ve had nothing but civil exchanges for a long while.

“It's acting as if you know you'll be alright, no matter what SHE does...b/c you are in charge of your life and your happiness. This is very important to understand.”

^^^ Yes I know I need to get to this point but at the moment I’m still a little raw about my feelings regarding how she could have done this to my boys and I, I am getting there and with each day a little more callous builds up and I get more and more hardened to her. I’m getting better at being by myself and am faking my happiness in front of her hopefully this isn’t coming across as fake though.

Working on myself is beginning to have an effect and have had comments for others not just my WW so a win there!

As usual I re-visit my goals and would like your opinion of my most recent:
• Being more approachable – success measured by people coming up to me to talk.
• Being under less pressure – success would be for me to not feel I have to “win her back” in every interaction I need to remember I can’t control her actions.
• Being more carefree – success measured on how much MORE my WW would want to interact with me i.e. instead of staying in the driveway when coming to pick the boys up she would actually come in when invited.

25yearsmlc can I ask how you approached your interactions with your H? Do you have any regrets that you didn’t try everything to save him? If you had the chance again would you do anything different?

I’m a firm believer that people don’t leave something for something worse and it’s this that drives me to be her “safe place” and friend when we interact, I know this could lead to cake eating but I still have solid boundaries in place for certain situations.

Surely if our WS’s want to re-engage then we should take the opportunity to show them a person they feel can provide them with a better future than the one they are presently involved with?

Just my opinion…

Thanks again.