There will come a time with no more tears

[Treasur]

I think I might be just edging out of the dark and focusing on a fresh start. Slow learner or what! Maybe it was sitting and watching the eclipse yesterday, although only partial here in the UK. But still cool.

My H chose (for whatever unknown reasons) to behave as if I had no voice in actions that significantly impacted my life, my M, my finances, my home and my sanity. None. That's not fair or reasonable. Being sent to Coventry after 18 years when the effects were so huge was a cruel s**tty mind**k. It is not something a healthy person would do, but he isn't healthy and he didn't/doesn't care about the impact on anyone else.

But I do have a voice even if he doesn't want to hear it - and doesn't deserve to probably. I can speak and choose my own voice about all of those things, even though I can't influence his thoughts or actions.

So, that is probably where I am today. It feels like a better more honest place to be. What do I want? To invest my energy in my own life. To move forward while still appreciating my past blessings. To know that I had a damned good M and I'm a damned good woman, irrespective of my H's broken bits. It wasn't my job or the job of our M to fix them. And right now, I'm tired of D [censored] so I'm doing nothing about it this week. He can wait...Lord knows, he made me wait long enough!