Yes I have seen very positive results since dumping her this week. Followed by Going Dark, so to speak.
Well, I am thoroughly confused. Do you call yourself "dumping her", or not?
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Confession: I tried to initiate sex twice this weekend. Both over text to avoid confrontation. She said no she "couldn't"
I just assumed that by dumping her you would not be trying to bed her! Seriously, how can you expect her to get the message she is losing you when you try to to initiate sex twice in one weekend? Wow, talk about pursuing! Do you understand what a woman means when she responds to her H sexual advances by saying, "I just can't"?
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We spent the better part of the day together and ate alone without kids.
Sorry, but if you want to appear as if you are dumping her, then this is not a picture of a guy who is dumping his wayward W.
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Last night we had a heart felt R talk and by that I mean I listened and validated. I also told her that she had been self-centered, defiant, rebellious.
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She said she had been under a lot and cried. I encouraged her to let it all go. I comforted her. This was probably why I got laid this morning.
Is getting laid all you think about? And, I'm not trying to be funny! Was that your goal, just to get laid? Needless to say, it doesn't work very well when you are dumping her.
Never use sex as your way of temp checking your WW. In fact, don't temp check her at all. That is you pursuing or being manipulative. Deciding how she responds to you initiating sex does not give you an honest evaluation. Many a W has had sex when she could have not cared less.........or had an ulterior motive.
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So that leaves this week. I am prepared to slip back into cold going dark if this is moving too fast. I am not so desperate for things to be fixed that I skip doing it the right way
What's the point, if you're just going to initiate sex in a few days? Seriously, you either act as if you are dumping her.......or else forget it. Just one more time of repeating this past weekend, and you might as well throw down your cards.
This past weekend confirmed to your WW that you are still very much interested in keeping her. If you don't want to act as if you are dumping her, then just tell me and I won't waste time talking about it. To me, it sounds as if you are still searching for a magic bullet........and there isn't one. You have to decide what you are going to do, and be consistent. Understand?
Btw, you don't have to do this, just b/c I suggested it.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
