I believe I have given up, the woman I used to know as my beautiful, loving, caring, passionate,nice and a great mother to my children has been replaced by this cold hearted,lying cheater that seems as if she doesn't want me or her children anymore. She has even had heated exchanges with S17 over small issues to the point she has told him to F off! I had to step in to calm the situation, I have never seen her in this light, very disappointing. She continues her EA with the original guy for about 5 months now, he is actually guiding her through this divorce process and giving her advice as to what she should do because she can't do anything on her own.
I am also dealing with her supportive friends that are telling her that she is making the correct decision and stoking her ego, her BFF has now set her up with another guy that my WW went on a date with, not sure if they did anything other than have a few drinks but I don't care what she does at this point. The only thing she does that I care about is how does this affect my children? My kids are lost, looking for guidance and that is where I come in. My relationship with my children is the strongest it has ever been because of this, their faces give me the strength to be the best I can for them while their mom pushes away.
I continue to improve myself, it has been noticed by everyone that know's me and even some other woman that I come in contact with, this has done wonders for my self confidence! I know I will be fine regardless of what my next chapter will be, fairley certain it won't be with WW. Every exchange that I have with her she continues to place all the blame on me that if I do this it will hurt the kids and if I do that it will hurt the kids, blah blah blah! I never hear her say what she is doing will hurt the kids because she believes she has done nothing wrong. I have come to grips with my portion of our problems, I have busted my ass to correct my faults, this will make me a better person for not only myself but my kids moving forward. This is a tough battle but I am more than prepared for the fight!
Last edited by Cadet; 08/16/1707:14 AM. Reason: Link
WW and barely talked over the last 4 days and I didn't miss it one bit. I kept busy doing stuff I wanted to do, the kids knew what I was up to, just didn't tell her. S17 and I went to dinner Friday as WW had D11 and S13 was with friends, S17 opened up a bit and told me how angry he is towards his mom for doing this to me and the family, said he doesn't want to stay with her and he told me that he has the other two on his side. I told him he is old enough to make up his own mind but he shouldn't shut his mom out. If they find out what she has done and is doing it could get ugly for her. Sunday she left for church but didn't tell me or the kids, I took S13 and D somewhere for a couple hours, got an angry text from WW wanting to know where we are. She says I didn't leave a note as to my whereabouts, it's funny how the rules are one sided. On another note, not sure if this is right or wrong but a divorcing mom from one our my kids sports teams and I have been trading messages that get flirty from time to time and easily could go further. My question, is this OK to do?? We actually have fun bantering back and forth but we both agree to that our kids are #1. I really miss the interaction with a female human being and feel this is harmless fun that out of respect for my former wife I would have never engage in, what says the experts here???
WW and barely talked over the last 4 days and I didn't miss it one bit. I kept busy doing stuff I wanted to do, the kids knew what I was up to, just didn't tell her. S17 and I went to dinner Friday as WW had D11 and S13 was with friends, S17 opened up a bit and told me how angry he is towards his mom for doing this to me and the family, said he doesn't want to stay with her and he told me that he has the other two on his side. I told him he is old enough to make up his own mind but he shouldn't shut his mom out. If they find out what she has done and is doing it could get ugly for her. Sunday she left for church but didn't tell me or the kids, I took S13 and D somewhere for a couple hours, got an angry text from WW wanting to know where we are. She says I didn't leave a note as to my whereabouts, it's funny how the rules are one sided. On another note, not sure if this is right or wrong but a divorcing mom from one our my kids sports teams and I have been trading messages that get flirty from time to time and easily could go further. My question, is this OK to do?? We actually have fun bantering back and forth but we both agree to that our kids are #1. I really miss the interaction with a female human being and feel this is harmless fun that out of respect for my former wife I would have never engage in, what says the experts here???
Getting your mojo back. That's good. You're moving on. You're much better than a cheater. Sure your WW could get back on the team but not on her terms, on yours. You're doing great. Be strong and firm. When she comes back begging at some point, and they always do, then it's your decision, not hers, if your R continues. Good job my man. You're doing great.
99.999% Over her right now, I could see where playing the jealousy card could do that but it's not my intention one bit. I didn't go looking for this, it has just kind of happened. My WW had talked to this other mom on the team and because my WW feels compelled to tell everyone she comes in contact with her that she is getting divorced because we drifted apart and I'm a bad husband I felt compelled to set the record straight. I am tired of getting blamed for our situation. So this mom and I started talking two weeks ago and I really enjoy her conversation and friendship. Not sure how this will play out but I need to keep it clean until it's my M is over. I need to make sure I remain the faithful one in this mess.
Then I give you 1 vote to enjoy yourself! Nothing is better than female companionship and maybe, just maybe it will get back to your W and she engages. Then the choice is yours my friend.
I vote to keep flirting and see where things go. Clearly she is aware of your sitch, so dishonesty won't be an issue. Of you decide not to go any further you both could decide to wait until you're legally single.
So this mom and I started talking two weeks ago and I really enjoy her conversation and friendship. Not sure how this will play out but I need to keep it clean until it's my M is over. I need to make sure I remain the faithful one in this mess.
Just a word of warning here: I felt pretty much identical to the way you do, and I ended up having that conversation and friendship turn into something more WAY faster than I thought possible. Life happens, be prepared for it.
99.999% Over her right now, I could see where playing the jealousy card could do that but it's not my intention one bit. I didn't go looking for this, it has just kind of happened. My WW had talked to this other mom on the team and because my WW feels compelled to tell everyone she comes in contact with her that she is getting divorced because we drifted apart and I'm a bad husband I felt compelled to set the record straight. I am tired of getting blamed for our situation. So this mom and I started talking two weeks ago and I really enjoy her conversation and friendship. Not sure how this will play out but I need to keep it clean until it's my M is over. I need to make sure I remain the faithful one in this mess.
If you enjoy her company then spend time with her. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You're retaking control over your life and your situation. If you like talking with this woman and she enjoys spending time with you then so be it. You don't answer to anyone but yourself.
