Divorce and Acceptance- Part 2

[bttrfly]

Sotto, I love how you've so succinctly summed this up: he's no longer your husband; he's some other woman's boyfriend and that's not someone you want to be married to.

Yes, I think that sometimes people have to go all the way through with this - D - and then, well ... who knows where life will take us?

And yes, Pax I think the LBS needs it too, as there's nothing like a divorce to so firmly hammer home that the old relationship is dead.

Now, none of us know if a new relationship will take its place or what shape or form that new relationship will take or even when it will happen. But the divorce does seem to set the stage and frankly, I think it re-balances the power. Let me try to explain: The MLCr's leaving is a power grab, imho, of epic proportions, leaving most LBS's wrecked and traumatized.

The divorce, on the other hand, frees the LBS to move on with their life, while the MLCr is often still cycling. Does this make sense re: re-balancing the power? By moving on and focusing on their new lives, the LBS's become so much stronger and frankly, more attractive.

The MLCr is often still flopping about like a fish out of water, trying desperately to fix themselves.

The LBS has no choice really but to survive then ultimately thrive, and often this I think unintentionally can slap the MLCr upside their muddle head. It's a dose of reality sorely needed, in my humble opinion.

And the very best part: the LBS often doesn't even notice because they're too busy living their new lives.

Sometimes people do get back together - it's happened in my family with the first people to ever divorce (my uncle and aunt). They ended up living together again twenty years later. Just heard that my cousin (same side of the family, but different uncle and aunt) is re-married to his first wife and they're blissful. Again, many, many years after their divorce. My cousin dated and remarried, divorced a second time, dated two other women fairly seriously and ended up somehow re-connecting with wife #1 and the rest is history. So, reconnection sometimes can and does happen, but in so many of these cases where it happens it's after a significant time period where both parties move on so these relationships are truly new ones, with a rich history to base it on.

thanks for this post Pax xoxoxoxo